Wedding vows are a big deal. This is the moment in your ceremony when you speak to your partner and share what’s in your heart, and there are lots of ways to go about that.
You can choose from the classic vows spoken by billions of couples over the years, or you can choose to write your own vows, making them as unique as you are. So how do you decide, and which traditions do you pull from, and which do you leave behind?
Let’s start with the reasoning behind wedding vows. Wedding vows are all about the promises you’re making to your partner about your marriage and your commitment to them. They are not only vowing to marry you but vows to go above and beyond—whatever that looks like for you.
If you choose to go traditional—”to have to hold, in sickness and in health”—much of your work is already done for you. But if you choose to write your vows, you may want some guidance and wedding vows examples.
If you are looking for tips on how to write your wedding vow, have a peek at this website.
How To Write A Wedding Vow
This might feel obvious at first, but just because you might have known that you’ve wanted to write wedding vows for years and years, your partner might not. Talk to them! Decide together that you want to write to them. There is nothing wrong with saying traditional marriage vows.
But if you’re going to DIY this, both of you have to be equally committed to this concept. Remember that vows don’t have to be lengthy or complex, or put you on the spot. Consider how comfortable you are with public speaking.
If it’s not something that you enjoy or if it’s something that makes you anxious, it is 100% acceptable to ask your officiant to structure vows so that you only have to say ‘I do’ or ‘I will’ or something similar.
If speaking on your own feels hard, you can also consider speaking at the same time as your partner, so you are saying the same things to each other at the same time.
Wedding Vow Template
While traditional wedding vows are usually very structured, you don’t have to be quite as strict while writing your own. This outline is a great place to help you get started.
- Make sure to say “I love you.”
- Tell your partner you’ll be there through thick and thin. Most wedding vows touch on sticking around through good times and bad. The reality is all marriages have cycles of peaks and valleys. It’s nice to communicate your intent to get through those valleys together.
- Share personal stories. It’s so much more interesting for friends or family to hear about your odd quirks and raw personal moments. Guests (and your S.O.) want to hear vows that are real. If you’ve been through bumpy spots, you should express that.
- Make promises. Vows aren’t just cute anecdotes—they are a promise and serious commitment that you’re making in front of a whole lot of witnesses. That doesn’t mean they have to be heavy though. You can vow to not only stick by their side forever but to also be the one to kill spiders whenever they creep their way into your home
- Acknowledge the support you’ll need from others. You’ve gathered your friends and family to celebrate your wedding, but you’ll need them just as much during your marriage. Honaman recommends you acknowledge “the role of family and friends who will help support you when times get tough.”
Always Think About Your Relationship
Take some time, both separately and together, to think about what you love about each other and what makes your relationship special. Write down the most memorable moments you have shared, good or bad. Think about the promises you want to make to your partner, and which ones you don’t.
Alexis The best advice I would give to someone who is writing their wedding vows is to include the tough times in their relationship. It makes it much more meaningful to hear about the struggles the couple has endured.
We all know that relationships are not all rainbows and butterflies, but people get so wrapped up into thinking that vows only have to be about the perfect times. Including an allusion to hard times makes your vows more relatable, and it also seems honest.
If you get stuck, ask yourself some questions. “What is something your partner did for you that made you feel special? Is there something about your partner that you never want to live without? Think back on the first time you said, ‘I love you’. Why was that the moment you had to say it?”
After reading the question, take a mental note of the first thing that comes to mind. Don’t give yourself more than a couple of minutes to flip through your thoughts. This shouldn’t be something to add stress but an exercise in feeling the joy of how much you adore this person you are marrying.